- Compared to previous generations, many girls are raised to believe that they are in the driver’s seat when choosing a career. We are taught from a very early age that the American Dream and all that goes with it, is ours for the taking. All we have to do is reach out and grab it. We can have it all in the workplace while simultaneously achieving the same level of perfection at home as a wife and mother.
Although this is true in theory, when children come into the picture, one’s internal barometer often readjusts to a new central point. Moms play by a whole new set of rules and realize that certain things that were once considered acceptable are now considered to be deal breakers. Having it all is not a fallacy or an old wives tale, however. It is just that what the “all” is for one woman may be completely different for another.
To be truly happy in this life, you have to identify and define your own personal “all” and go after it. For some Moms, having it all may favor one part of their life over another. This involves making some difficult choices and sacrificing the things that are less important in order to have what truly matters the most.
I recently asked some fellow Mama bloggers exactly what the definition of having it all means to them in their own lives. How do they define success and what were some of the decisions they made on their path to achieve their overall dreams? Check out their comments below!
I launched a side gig when my daughter turned 2. I was so stressed trying to work a full time job, get back in shape and trying be a good mom that I just knew I couldn’t live that way anymore I didn’t want my daughter to see a mom who was stressed out and in a job she didn’t like but doing nothing to change it. Although it’s been a long journey and lots of long work days I know I’m building a life that is on my terms; that I can show my daughter that hard work pays off and you can help others along the way. Having it all means working on my terms.
Heather from Heather in a Hat
Trying to start a business from home means I feel like I need to do All The Things all the time. With four kids, there is no time when all the boxes on the to-do list are ticked. But the jobs available to me as an ex-pat would mean barely ever seeing my kids. It can get lonely (get an accountability partner!). It’s really hard work, especially at the beginning. But I get to work on something I’m interested in, and that hard work is starting to bear fruit that makes me excited to see what is next.
Naomi from Almost Bananas
Having been in the personal training business for a while, I was no stranger to long days. But like most moms, my priorities changed with the birth of my daughter. Setting up my newest business venture and transitioning to online training has been an insane process. I work all hours of the day just trying to get ahead. And while I don’t quite have the balance I’d like, I’m close. This process has allowed me to spend more days with my daughter and do activities I love on my own schedule. I can work anywhere (and often do) and it’s in a field I’m passionate about.
Shelby from Fit As A Mama Bear
While most women my age are graduating college, and getting their degrees I am at a different stage in my life. At twenty-two years old I find myself married and the mother of two sweet little loves. Sometimes people ask me if I want more- to go to college, and get a degree, but that’s not the path I chose in life. I find myself able to stay home run my blog, start an Etsy store, and spend my days surrounded by my babies. I can honestly say I have everything a mom could ask for and more.
Sheyla from The Momma Chronicles
I love being a mom. I feel like I found myself in it and I’m loving it more each day. I had to adapt certain things in my life and had to accept that I can’t live my life as I once could. Although the opportunities for me might not be the same, they’re still there and they’re still good if we keep being on the positive side of motherhood. I realized that anything I want for my life nowadays I actually want because she inspires me, so I don’t see any “real” sacrifices, I only see joys as a result. Even though is super tiring.
Dâmares from How To Marry A Millionaire
Before my 2-year-old was born, my husband and I decided that I would be a stay-at-home mom so I started a business and began working from home before I was even pregnant. It worked well when Eli was a newborn because he napped a lot and I could work while he was asleep. Now that he’s as an active 2-year old, I get up at 3am every morning to work before he wakes up. I know it won’t last forever. Once he starts school, I’ll be able to work more normal hours, but it’s amazing what I can accomplish at 3am when the world is still sleeping!
Jilanne from Jilanne Holder
I really think having it all means doing what’s best for you. I am blessed beyond measure with a supportive husband and a flexible job that I love. You really have to dig deep and do what makes you and your family the most happy. For me, I enjoy my career and giving back in such an amazing way. I have a job that allows flexibility to take days off with my littles and work from my phone if I need too. At the end of the day, I am also able to pick my kids up from daycare and from that point give them 100% of me until they go to bed at night. Work/Life balance is hard to tackle, but it’s totally worth it!
Lindsay from Just Simply Happenstance
Having it all for me begins with myself and my family being healthy as without that…nothing else would matter!!! Having my 2 children and my husband in my life….waking up each day excited for what lies ahead and knowing that my passion and my purpose fuels me and has a positive effect on others around me. What I do and who I make smile as I am living an authentic life and believe that everything IS possible! I am surrounded by others that feel the same! Being financially secure is also key as it’s a fact..we need money to live. It’s not the money itself that’s important but the abundance of it allows me to have fun experiences with my family and friends, to create lasting memories and to have the freedom to do what I want, when I want..it also eliminates the daily stresses lack of money causes..and I LOVE how I feel when I can give freely to others!
Lisa from Life Matters
To me, having it all means that no piece of the puzzle feels short changed. I have found that even a small amount of time 100% focused on the task allows each part to feel as if they have received all of me. This small step has freed me up to move to the next area guilt free and ready to focus on that piece. As women in the workforce, we have a multitude of things pulling for our attention when that attention is focused and intentional, we can accomplish more in a shorter amount of time.
Lorie from Reset Mentoring
Having it all means being able to live fully in the beautiful simplicity of life.
Jennifer of The Roaming Healer
Having it ALL means PEACE to me.
Esha from Inspire 2 Change
Having it all means that I can spend the time with the ones I love, wherever they are, and I have the freedom to serve my community in time and treasure.
Annamarie from Ask Annamaria
Well at this moment “having it all is” good health, strong relationships, being open to possibilities and finally embracing who I am: scars and all.
Andrea from Waldorf Salad & Cottage Fries
Having it, “all” means I’ve believed a lie that there is such a thing. And that I’m going to do everything I can to keep it all. Until having it, “all” means just one more thing. It’s fiction and a constantly moving finishing line. I can never have it all just as I can never be all. I can only have whatever is contained within this moment and truly appreciate whatever that is by exactly who I am at that same moment.