I added an additional item to my to-do list over the past few weeks because being a Mom of 2 1/2 year old twins while working full-time, and blogging wasn’t enough for me. I am actively looking for a new job. After a slow start, I’ve, fortunately had an influx of calls lately and I’ve been setting up numerous interviews. Although this is truly a blessing, it definitely adds some stress to my life as well.
This morning I woke up, called my work’s weather alert line and discovered that, like many other companies here in the northeast, my work was closed for the day due to the impending blizzard.
After putting down the phone, for a split second, I thought about going back to sleep. My daughter was happily sleeping diagonally across her full sized bed and my son was draped across my spot in my own bed next to my sleeping husband. My only option for getting some extra Z’s was heading over to my son’s bed. I took two steps towards his room and stopped suddenly. I looked around me and really took in the fact that I was in a very dark – it was 5:00am – and a very quiet – everyone else was still sound asleep – house. It was a peaceful quiet that I wanted to soak in rather than sleep away. I decided to make use of these extra few golden minutes before inevitably hearing one of my children shout “Mama” letting me know they were awake and ready to party.
I sat down at my PC and continued, completed, and submitted another online job application. Then, I began to think of all of the things that were on my plate for tomorrow. Nerves, insecurities, and anxieties began to creep in. I let out a huge sigh but immediately afterward the words: “but not today” came into my head.
The power of those three words really resonated with me. By worrying about the many things that I had to accomplish tomorrow, I had completely lost today. It was 5:15am and before uttering those three simple words – “but not today” – I had completely lost a full day of everything in this world that means anything to me.
I was grateful that those words suddenly came to me because at that point, a sense of calm filled every inch of me from head to toe. My whole demeanor changed. I began to embrace today because today is a snow day. Today is a day that I get to spend with my husband and children all warm, cozy, and safe in our home. I owe myself and my family the opportunity to have me completely present today and I can be present because I have no additional obligations on my plate today which is a gift. Life is hard. It’s nonstop. We have to take those gifts as they come and not waste them because we are worrying about what we have to do tomorrow.
So, I am proud to say that I lived today. I played with play doh, I played board games, I read books, I sang songs, I gave extra hugs, extra kisses, and I smiled beautifully all day long. It was only after I tucked my children into bed that I wrote some thank you notes to companies that I interviewed with and composed the rest of this blog post. Truth be told – I started it on my iPhone during an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
I hope on days when worry over some future event overtakes you, that you remember those three little words: “But Not Today.” Because we owe it to ourselves to enjoy the good times that we are blessed with and not let worrying about tomorrow rob us of experiencing the gifts of today.